


Sweet Dreams

by MagicBiscuit



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Angst, Blood, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Might be a bit ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 15:59:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16705456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicBiscuit/pseuds/MagicBiscuit
Summary: In which a troubled man meets a peculiar duo.





	Sweet Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> While tagging this I began to wonder if I should use the tag "PTSD" as well. On one hand I can see it and on the other hand it feels like a bit too much, but don't want to give anyone any unnecessary discomfort  
> If anyone could offer their insight it would be very much appreciated c:

Quan wandered down the halls of the Order of Heroes aimlessly. It was much too late yet he could not sleep. His late night walks had become a new routine for him. He needed to get away from other people. He needed the solitude to take a step back and sort out his jumbled thoughts.

Quan rubbed his temples. He knew that others were noticing his new habit. Ethlyn in particular had been very forward about it. Quan had tried to talk around the subject. Ethlyn saw right through him of course which had resulted in an argument between the two.

Uneasiness grabbed a hold of his heart with its cold hands.

How could Quan explain it to her?

Every time he closed his eyes he saw a desert. It was a desert with blood in its sands. The reason it was like that was him.

It was all his fault.

His fault.

His fault. His fault. His fault.

Quan put his right hand on a wall for support. The knots in his stomach twisted and they turned. He took deep breaths with his mouth.

Once he calmed down slightly he sighed through his nose.

Sigurd and Eldigan kept asking him what his nightmares were about. Maybe it could help to talk about it they said. Quan had waved them off. He could not and would not tell them. It was his problem and his alone.

He refused to burden others.

Quan wrapped his arms around himself. Why couldn’t they see that he deserved this? They had all met Leif. They all knew what the poor boy had been through. Quan’s current state of being was nothing more than karma.

The sound of laughter pulled Quan out of his dark thoughts.

Quan's heart started to beat faster as his body tensed. He reached for the Gáe Bolg only to quickly realize that he was unarmed. He swallowed hard, without his weapon he was nothing.

He looked around himself. Despite the darkness he could tell that he was currently in the royal gardens. He frowned as he looked around himself. When had he ended up here?

Out of the corner of his eye Quan saw something glow blue. He quickly turned to face it. He did not have his lance, but he still had his fists should it come to that.

The blue glow became stronger and stronger. Quan's heart beat faster and faster. Just as he began to seriously consider lunging at the source of the blue glow it made itself clear to him.

Butterflies.

Quan could not begin to count them as several of the strange butterflies began to fly all around him. It was almost like they were looking at him. Their glow illuminated the dark surroundings.

Quan expected himself to at least become slightly uneasy at the sight of something so otherworldly, but a strange sense of calm had washed over him. He just stood there, watching the little creatures quietly.

One of the butterflies landed on Quan's shoulder. He felt a small smile tug at his lips. He carefully reached out and touched the butterfly’s wing. It was cool to the touch.

"Oh!"

Quan looked up at the sound of another voice. Some of the butterflies gathered around this new presence.

A man had appeared. A pretty man, Quan thought. He was pale and his hair was white. It contrasted his red eyes in almost an eerie way.

Despite the sudden appearance of this stranger Quan remained calm.

The stranger gave him a smile. "Hello there," he said in a soft voice, "are you out for a walk as well?"

Quan blinked and then he stiffened. The butterfly that had been sitting on his shoulder flew away. All the tension he'd felt in his body earlier came rushing back.

Quan broke the eye contact and looked the other way. "I was just getting some fresh air." he lied.

He could feel the stranger's eyes on him along with the sensation that he was being read like an open book.

"I see." The stranger said.

Quan could feel the anxiety build up in his stomach. He started to think about what kind of excuse he could give so he could leave when the stranger spoke again.

"Do you want to join me for a little while?" he asked.

Quan's brown eyes met the stranger's red ones once again.

The stranger was smiling still. It was one of the warmest smiles Quan had ever seen and it was directed at him.

The stranger held out his hand. Quan froze on the spot. It looked so incredibly inviting yet something in the back of his mind told him that he shouldn't. Quan clenched his fists.

The stranger walked up to him and took one of Quan's hands and placed it into his own. "It will be all right," the stranger reassured, "We'll just wander around the garden."

Before Quan could answer the stranger tugged at the joining of their hands gently. It was all that was needed. The strange calmness he'd felt earlier came back. The stranger led on and Quan found himself following, like an obedient sheep.

Quan kept his eyes on the stranger's back as they walked. The stranger's clothes were an ethereal white. A blue ribbon that seemed to be attached to his hip swung back and forth, it reminded Quan of flowing water. The stranger hummed a melody as they walked. The butterflies were following them closely.

It was almost like being in a dream.

Quan swallowed again. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but found that words wouldn't leave him. The stranger looked over his shoulder. "My name is Corrin." he said as if he was reading Quan's mind.

They stopped, still holding hands.

Neither one of them said a word.

Quan looked at their hands. When was the last time he allowed someone to hold it like this? He couldn't remember.

The silence was short-lived as the sound of a woman's voice filled the once hushed world.

"Corrin, why didn't you tell me that you would bring a guest?"

Quan looked up. He blinked and blinked again. What he saw before him filled him with so many questions and there didn’t seem to be a single answer in sight.

Quan's first thought was that he must be seeing double. The woman that approached them was almost identical to Corrin. She even had her own little parade of butterflies following her. Her hair was longer and she wore a dress. That was the only difference. At least the only difference Quan could see with his eyes.

Corrin laughed lightly. The sound reminded Quan of a tiny bell.

"I'm sorry Corrin," Corrin said, "Our new friend was a surprise to me as well; it was the butterflies that found him."

Quan looked back and forth between the two in confusion. Before he could ask any questions the female Corrin walked up to him and took his free hand into her own. She, too, gave him a warm smile.

"It's so nice to meet you" she said, "My name is also Corrin. Please join us for a little while."

Quan, unable to do anything else, just nodded.

They led him to a clearing and they all sat down. The female Corrin let go of his hand gently and disappeared into the darkness. Quan felt a pang of disappointment which was followed by surprise.

Why would he be disappointed?

The male Corrin gave him a smile. "She won't be long." he said. Quan returned the smile before quickly looking away. It felt like words had given up on him. Not knowing what else he could do Quan gave his attention to the area around him.

The night was pitch-black. He saw no stars nor was there a moon, yet despite that it wasn't dark. The butterflies that had followed them were dancing around the clearing. Thanks to their glow Quan could see that they were surrounded by a many small lilac flowers.

Quan frowned as he tried to remember were in the royal gardens this was exactly, but found himself unable to do so. He wasn't even sure if he'd even seen flowers like that before.

"Here I am!"

The other Corrin's sing-song voice pulled Quan back into reality.

She'd appeared before him once again. The male Corrin let go of Quan's hand and the female Corrin gave him a teacup.

Its contents smelled of nothing. Quan looked up at his company. They were looking at him expectedly. Not wanting to be rude Quan brought the cup to his dry lips.

It was sweet. Almost too sweet. Quan drank it embarrassingly quickly. When he realised he'd done so his face became flushed. The other two, however, beamed.

Quan handed the cup back to the female Corrin. "Thank you." he said, quickly recoiling at the sound of his own voice. He brought his fingers to his lips. Why was it suddenly so easy to speak?

The female Corrin put the tea cup on the ground right next to her and took hold of both his hands. "You're very welcome," she said, sounding strangely pleased, "I'm just glad you liked it so much!"

She let go of his hands. After a brief silence she started to hum the same melody that the male Corrin had done earlier. The male Corrin joined in as well.

Quan felt his body sway. He gave a relaxed sigh as he rested his head against the male Corrin's shoulder. His eyelids began to close shut.

Suddenly it became warm. Too warm. The sun burned. Quan burned. He reached out and grasped at the dry sand.

His stomach was on fire. Quan let out a pained croak as he reached out with his other hand.

This time he grabbed onto the female Corrin's hand. Quan snapped to attention. He was no longer burning, just cold sweating.

Both of his companions looked at him, their eyes filled with concern.

Quan straightened himself up. The other two gave each other a look before giving their attention back to Quan.

The male Corrin was the first to speak. "What's burdening you?" he asked. His voice was soothing.

Quan shook his head. "It's nothing." he said firmly. The female Corrin frowned slightly. "Why do you lie?" she asked bluntly as if to contrast her male counterpart. “Why won’t you let anyone near?”

Quan tensed again, much like he had done earlier that night. He didn't like asking others for help. Perhaps he was too proud.

The two of them kept their eyes on him. The red gazes were unwavering. Again he felt like he was being read like a book.

The butterflies circled around him as he thought and thought.

He remembered the sound of his parent's annoyed voices. He remembered loneliness. He remembered hopelessness.

Quan shuddered as he recalled his early life. The memories haunted him still.

Yet it changed. How had it changed?

Quan's expression softened as he recalled what had happened.

Sigurd and Eldigan.

They had held out their hands to him. They had led him through and supported him during the rocky parts of his adolescence. It had all snowballed from there.

They had given him friendship. Their friendship had led him to find love. The love he found turned into a family.

But despite all that Quan felt fear. It was a fear so big and so all-consuming that he couldn't breathe. It felt like it could take everything and he would be alone again.

Alone, forever and always.

"I will not be a burden." Quan's voice was hard. That was a silent vow he'd given a long, long time ago. It was his way of protecting his newfound warmth. It stuck with him. It had painted his life.

The male Corrin started rubbing Quan's shoulders and the female Corrin ran her free hand over Quan's cheek. Normally Quan would jump away from any unexpected touch, but this time he found himself allowing it.

"Tell me," the male Corrin began. "Isn't refusing others a burden on them in and of itself?" The female Corrin finished.

Quan frowned in confusion. "I do not understand." he said.

The female Corrin stopped stroking Quan's cheek and gave his nose a quick tap. "Say that you knew that someone you cared about was in pain," she said.

The male Corrin picked up where she left off. "Would you like it if they pushed you away? Even though you might be able to help?"

Quan looked to the ground. He played with the idea in his head. "No," Quan admitted quietly, "I wouldn't like that."

The female Corrin smiled, clearly pleased that Quan seemed to understand what she was getting at. She clapped her hands together. "So!" she began, "it stands to reason that the same would apply to your friends and family, yes?"

Quan fell quiet. He'd spoken, or rather argued, with Eldigan earlier that day. There had been something in his eyes that Quan couldn't quite understand. Had that been worry?

The male Corrin spoke. "It's frightening to open up to others, isn't it?"

Quan could feel his chest tighten. What was he supposed to say? He felt like he didn't deserve to have the weight on his shoulders lifted.

Not after he failed his friends.

Not after he ruined his children’s lives as well as Finn's.

Not after he hurt Leonster so badly its wounds could take years upon years to heal.

He deserved pain.

He deserved the piercing pain in his stomach.

Quan gasped for air. He hunched over. It hurt.

He looked down at the source of his discomfort.

The Gungnir that had been thrust right through him.

He let out another gasp as he grabbed onto the holy lance's hilt. He could feel the blood pouring out of him.

Suddenly both the male and female Corrin held him. As Quan's vision began to blur he saw the same blue glow from earlier surround the three of them.

The world around Quan shook as the glow changed from the soft blue to a bright gold.

Then it all fell quiet.

Quan slumped against the male Corrin. The Gungnir was gone. His body felt incredibly heavy. In the corner of his eye he could see the butterflies again, expect they had a golden shine now.

The female Corrin ran her hand through Quan's brown hair. "It hurts doesn’t it?" It was more of a statement than a question. Quan just nodded.

It was the male Corrin who spoke next. "We can take away the pain." he said. His voice was so quiet it was barely above a whisper. "However," he continued, "it will be brief." He paused for a short moment before adding; "No dream lasts forever."

Quan struggled to feel his own body; he'd gone from incredibly heavy to incredibly light in a heartbeat.

"Close your eyes," the female Corrin said. "It'll be all right this time."

Quan tried his best to keep his consciousness from slipping. He didn't want to go just yet. He wanted to ask them so many questions. Did he deserve to have the pain taken away? What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to do it?

Quan felt himself slipping. Someone spoke, but he was no longer sure who it was.

"Sleep well, Quan. Things will be better in the morning."

 

Quan slowly opened his eyes. He was in bed. He sat up and looked around. He was alone in the room he shared with Ethlyn. It was somewhat dark, but he could see daylight shining behind the curtains.

How long had he been asleep?

Quan heard a door click open and turned his attention towards the sound.

Ethlyn was poking her head in. Once their eyes met she smiled. "Good morning, Quan." she said, "Did you sleep well?"

Quan stretched his arms as Ethlyn walked over to the curtains and pulled them aside. Quan looked at the sky. "Have I overslept?" he asked. Ethlyn sat down on the edge of their bed.

She put her hand on his arm.

"It's past noon," she told him and when she saw the panic starting to form in his eyes, quickly added; "But it's all right! The Summoner insisted that you sleep until you woke up on your own."

Quan sighed. He felt something in the back of his mind. He felt like he’d dreamt, but when he tried to recall it the inside of his head felt like it was shrouded in a thick fog.

Ethlyn edged closer to him. Her expression was one Quan wasn’t used to. It was not anger nor was it sadness. What was it then?

A thought Quan wasn't certain was entirely his own echoed through his mind.

"Isn't refusing others a burden on them in and of itself?"

Quan felt a lump in his stomach gnaw at him. He looked at Ethlyn. She gave him a pale smile.

He shivered as he slowly reached out to nestle himself in his wife's arms. "Quan?" Ethlyn questioned as she held him. She sounded confused. There was something else in her voice too. Something Quan couldn't quite place.

Quan took a deep breath.

A fear was clawing at him from the inside. It felt so big and so powerful. He didn’t want others to see, but he wasn’t certain he could hide it either.

Quan could feel the dam inside of him breaking. He blinked several times in order to stop the outburst he knew was coming. Ethlyn rubbed circles on his back.

“It’s okay,” she said, “I’m right here. I’m not leaving you.”

Quan curled up in Ethlyn’s arms.

Then he cried.


End file.
